"Fly this girls as high as you can, into the wild blue..."

11:10pm: I take after Imp...

Mean lil fellow, arn't you?


What Monty Python Character are you?
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10:11am: "Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky, never revealing their depth."-Edwin McCain
weird. Last night i heard Edwin McCain's "I'll Be" coming home on the radio (hence my title), but the really freaky part is this morning it was on the radio when my alarm clock went off (which was 10 minutes after i got up). Kinda bizarre? I really like that song... it kinda reminds me of Marc and the shit we've been through. Anyway...
Today is work... a double shift, i'll be out... sometime. After that i have monday OFF. score!

Last night i had the weirdest dream that marc's family wouldn't leave the room when i was changing... so i just did it locker-room style (back turned, undewear on, etc). And that his dad was making us watch monday night football. I think working at a sport's bar has gone to my head.

8:50pm: "The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful stop me and steal my breath." -Edwin McCain
Wow, I just got back from NYC yesterday... That was a blast!

After suffering through 2 days of visiting a famous garden and other boring things with my dad, Marc arrived to relieve me! We had so much fun in Manhatten, and even went to the Bronx to see the zoo. And i was so happy to see him... I know we were only apart for just over 48 hours, but we havne't been apart for more than a day in almost a year now (wow, this holloween it'll be a year since we "unoficially" hooked up. damn). it'll be nice to actually spend a one year anniversary while still being together with someone. Long story haha.

Life's going by pretty fast now. Next August Marc will have his own condo... and i'll probably be moving in with him. We'll see as it gets closer, but i can't see why not. We've had our rough times, but who doesn't? I do think its terribly funny how just five years ago i was trodding behind him hoping for a glance and and three years ago he was desperately chasing after me, and now we're so important in each others lives. I mean, as much as i'm a little stand-offish about moving in with him (especially when his mom mentioned that if we were still together, we could trade it in on a house and that just sent the anxieties soaring!), its not that i don't want it, i just saw this happening YEARS down the road. I don't necessarilly plan on being with him "forever", but i've though about it enough for it to make sense. Just didn't think it would be practicle any time soon. And despite some minor rough patches, the last few months have been great.

Oy, i keep on trying to keep up with this journal but i'm just so busy most of the time, and having a summer away from most internet didn't help. And i'm still trying to get new pictures of me (and marc and Imp) up asap. we shall seeee.

12:29am: "You'd never know I'm not asking you to believe in me boy i think you're confused." -Tori Amos
Well i survived the "family vacation" in the RV with Marc's family and whatnot. Had a good time except for his sister's obnoxious, disgusting (i had to see that fat, nasty, zit-possessed thing with his shirt off), lazy, lying drama queen of a boyfriend. Anyway :) We saw the Royal Ontario Museum and the Toronto Zoo (JAGUARS!!!!) and hung out with his family. His dad's side of the family is just awesome (chugging Canadian beer and whatnot, and meeting his 18yo cousin who might be coming down to FGCU next semester), and his mom's side... well they were a bit stand-offish and we were labeled as anti-social because we didn't want to babysit the hundreds of grandchildren but they were alright. Canada as a whole was BEAUTIFUL (in the summer haha!) and i fell in love with Tim Horton's... i dream about it. i tried to substitute Einsetin's bagel and soup but it sucks comparted to Timmy's...

Made it back in time for Marc's birthday. Appearantly his parents and I were thinking the same thing for a present - "helmet" :) I got him a a replica of Riddick's Saber Claws from the movie as well as a riding helmet (and half-chaps). His parents went the helmet route with a replica of some guy from Lord of the Ring's creeepy helmet. It's really cool tho :) We aslo celebrated with a Maggie Moo's Udderly Cream and Oreo Ice Cream Cake <3

Tonight Marc and I got Slurpee and hot chocolate cravings and headed to 7-11. We were then exploded upon by a "Frawg" flavored icy drink. I mean EXPLODED! Both of us were covered in bright green Slurpee. It was amusing and sticky to say the least.

And its back to the dorms in a week. I've been so god damn busy that this summer has flown by. I suppose that's good, but i'm defintiely looking forward to the "quiet" of school haha. I'm still rooming with Katie and Marc's moving up there too so i'm really looking forward to it. Hehe, we're going shopping for a Marc's bedsheets tomorrow! whee!


Ok well now i must go... PBR will be starting soon and i can't miss (not so cute) cowboys (but still cowboys haha!) riding bulls on TV!

8:48am: Wheee
Well today I'm on my way towards Canada with Marc :) And of course we should be arriving in Toronto just about the time Katie is leaving. I'll be back in like... a week :) I gave Imp his last hug for a week and he didn't seem too upset :-/ oh well, such is the love of a small evil bunny.

8:53pm: "The active character of love can be described by stating that love is primarily giving...The person whose character has not developed beyond the stage of receptive, exploitive, or hoarding orientation, experiences the act of giving, but only in exchange for receiving. Giving without receiving is for him being cheated." Erich Fromm, The Art Of Loving

8:40am: "Billy Mack: Let's get pissed and watch porn."
Oy i finally got a good nights sleep last night! I've been up at my riding instructor's place taking care of the small animals and whatnot all weeek. Katie covered feeding the dogs for me this mornin' so i could go home last night and sleep.

Eh, that's really about it haha! Just been riding and hanging out with Marc when he can come up... and eating at Iguana Mia's... damn that place was gooood! <3

7:10pm: “Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.” -Barbara Johnson
Well despite getting sick (grr!) i've had a pretty enjoyable week :)

Had a GREAT lesson on Puzzle today. He's so awesome! We kicked the other horsie's big fancy well bred rumps! He's the best pony ever.

Marc had a lesson on Boca last night and had a blast! He did some actual JUMPS (just cross rails but not just poles on the ground anymore). Almost died. Boca took the liberty of cantering up to one of the cross rails and clearing it with a few feet to spare, Marc lost his stirrup, but managed to stay on somehow. After that the lesson went great!

Then we watched most of Troy (his parents came home part way through and we all chatted for a while). Just had a nice night. Haha, and a REALLY REALLY nice day, but i'll spare you the gratuitous details. And I've concluded Marc looks damn sexy in dark shirts. And that his dad is unfortunately starting to look old.

yah, that's really about it, just enjoying the week!

4:40pm: "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?"
Well the 4th was great :) And happy birthday to Katie who was stuck with the family all night!

Next week I'm living up at Wendy's place in Ft. Myers while she and a large group of her boarders go up to the Biltmore. Whee. Two weeks surrounded by horses and other furry animals!

Life is currently good! Last night most of my family met Marc and thought he was very charming. haha, my uncle caught me in the kitchen and goes "Hey he's a good lookin' boy, you should really keep him around!" I guess i just expected that more out of my aunt(s) than my dad's brother :P Then we did fireworks with his family... nearly got blown up b/c his dad THOUGHT he knew what he was doing. Butchaknow how that goes! Then we went out to Friday's with his sis and her boyfriend. They had some kinda stupid argument about a steak and spent half the dinner not talking then the other half making up with little "i love you" signs and whispering to each other right in front of us like children.

Then after a small hot chocolate mishap, Marc took me home. Had one of those good kisses that make you wake up the next morning happy.

This morning i rode Puzzle in my lesson. He was sooo awesome (as usual) but very very very revved up. He hasn't jumped anything except cross rails in a few weeks so after the jumps started going over 2'9" he was trying to run every time i picked up the reins haha. But I love the furry little pony even when he's being a stinker. Unfortunately he's for sale and no one in Wendy's barn is interested. He's a very nice - large - pony (can jump 3'6" with a 120 lb rider flailing around on him haha), very very cute, and great (perfect really) once you make it clear that rubbing you off on the rail is not an option. I'm sure they're asking a fair bit for him but i'm afraid he'll sell fast. I'm gonna miss the little bugger when he goes.

10:09am: "Why would you bring your little kid to Busch Gardens?... they have that kennel outside."
Oy, yesterday was interesting. An adventure anyway. Marc rode in my lesson with Lynne and her new horse in the morning. Green rider on nice horse, nice rider on green horse, and me learning how to get along with my mount, Karmina. Add in one barn brat on her warmblood trying to run over Marc, and it was pretty crazy. In the end it was a blast though :)

Then we busted our asses back to Naples and headed up to Busch Gardens with katie. Got one ride in and then got stuck in the rain waiting for the line for the next one. Sat around for over an hour then braved the rain back to the car and drove home :( blah! Talked about what we would all do for $40 billion... Hated children some more, talked about how we need money so we can have nice horses, wishful thinking on my part and whatnot.


And that's about it... now i gotta bust ass to work...

10:22pm: "So I sat back down and had a beer and felt sorry for myself... Saying let her cry." -Hootie
Well i'm still alive.

Don't really have internet persay right now - just bumming it off friends (ok - mostly just Marc). So sorry - not that i don't like you guys, i'm just so damn busy right now that having time to write an entry at someone else's house is not really an option. Between work and horses (Naples AND Ft. Myers) and a bit of "freetime" its been crazy. Like... CRAZY.

Despite being really busy lately, i go through phases of feeling like i'm missing something. Honestly i think i need next semester in school to start. I've concluded i need to stay (insanely) busy for me to not feel like i need something more in my life. Granted, it'll cut into everything else, but i can't shake the feeling that i'm missing out on somehting important. That and it'll be nice to live in between my two places of horse riding instead of 40 minutes from one of them. Maybe I'm just crazy... who knows??

Other than the slight fear of missing out on somehting, life is damn good. A few bumps lately, but nothing too major. Ibn is still my main squeeze, but i've totally fallen for Puzzle (the little pinto jumper) as well. And i'm improving at jumping a lot. Last week Puzzle and I even kept up with Paris (really nice Warmblood) and his rider. The jumps were significantly smaller than they're capable of, but Puzzle and I aced the pattern time and time again. :) Funny thing is, it was after i'd basically had almost two weeks off from jumping (rain and whatnot). And Puzzle is just... well awesome <3 He gives me a lot of confidence. I'm just not one of those people who seems to be naturally talented at ... well... anything - riding included. I'm not bad, but i just don't have that "natural skill" taht i see in so many other riders, so its nice to feel like i've accomplished something for once instead of falling behind despite my efforts. That and Wendy's a really cool trainer.

So yah, i'm blabbing about horses as usual. i guess they've just completely become my stress relief (well that and Bud light :-P). My life outside of the barn and a few friends is an assload of drama (that i prett much ignore), but i think that's mostly my fault too. Not that i'm doing anything terribly "wrong", i think i just find myself continuously disappointed because crave more than i'm getting in some situations. So lesson is "never want". Psh, where's the fun in that.

Anyway, hopefully i'll get ahold of a scanner and get some pictures of Puzzle and my bunny (Imp!) up soon.


Saying...

12:49am: Cloning is kinda creepy... i didn't know we were this close/successful
they've made a successful clone of endurance champion, Pierez (AKA Cash) the arabian...

http://www.thehorse.com/viewarticle.aspx?ID=5675

http://www.thehorse.com/viewarticle.aspx?ID=5676

9:37pm: Wow, you guys gotta check this out
it was creepy (accurate) about what it had to say about me: http://www.crush007.com/love.cgi?id=1113864736kcg

9:56am: Good Mornin'... hehe

12:42am: haha, reasons why Patrick rocks... that just cracked me up so bad!
Biggles313: Hello there blue eyes
Biggles313: can't sleep i see...
Biggles313: insomnia?
Biggles313: bunny keeping you up?
Biggles313: you keeping bunny up?

9:44am: "The bitch should starve and the Pope needs to die."
Gonna be a BUSY weekend! Working a double today, then picking up Marc afterwards (lol prolly 12:30 at night), then he's coming up here because he's got a riding lesson at 9am! hehehe (hey, he's the one who's so gung-ho about riding), then we're dong this whole jet ski thing with his parents. And then i'm working a double on Monday. oh geez.

11:57am: Oh yah
and i forgot to mention...
last friday night i played the MOST instense game of UNO. yup.

oh and Happy Easter!



And in appreciation of rabbits everywhere (and this soung reminds me of my homicidal bunny, Imp):

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest.
Scooping up the field mice,
And bopping them on the head.

3:02am: "The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts."
How in the world is it justified that when i try to do something responsible and understanding, it gets thrown back in my face and now I can't get to sleep? story of my life i guess.

Well aside from that, i had a great night. Went to the Everblades game with Katie G and Bobby - that was a blast! Goalies are SO sexy when the stretch. ooooh yah. I'm beginning to see the whole fascination with being a "puck bunny" as katie put it haha. Then we all went ice skating. I wasn't terribly bad haha. I've got that whole "moving forward" and "stopping" thing down. Skating backwards continues to elude me haha.

I had to separate my bunnies tonight. For Evo's sanity anyway. I'm finally about to settle down and TRY to get some sleep and i hear them running around in the cage. I don't think Imp had any intentions of ceasing his torment tonight, so i completely made up a new cage for Evo for the night. It's just harder to hide one bunny cage than two :-/

1:16am: "I wanna love you the best that, the best that I can." -Hootie and the Blowfish
Oy, its gonna be a long weekend (of work). But I don’t have class next Thursday so that will give me a day off next week! Poor Marc is working (on top of his usual schedule) and extra night shift tomorrow to make up for having last Thursday off (which I asked him to do so we could so something special - and then it stormed so we couldn’t… and I was sick! Gah! Such is my luck, huh?).

It’s been a fun week. Katie came up to see my riding lesson on Tuesday but instead of the girl I usually ride with on Tuesdays (really awesome rider with and ex-grand prix jumper) and riding Puzzle and showing him off, Wendy wanted me to ride Dash. Mind you, I’ve never been scared of a horse in my life. I’ve gotten off of two horses because I felt they were unreasonably dangerous and nothing was going to get accomplished but it wasn’t really being scared… I rode Dash once before and it was BAD. Really really bad. He’s an akward, nervous jumper and I’m just learning to jump again. Not a good combo. So I sucked it up and got on him again and it was just scary! I had flashbacks of my last lesson on him (he took off for our first jump WAY too soon and I got smashed in the head by his neck, then we jumped the HIGH part of a jump that’s really really low in the middle b/c he tried to run out on it and I wouldn’t let him and we crashed through a vertical at some point), Bitsy asked me how he was doing and I started crying. That sucked. Wendy was cool though (I guess she didn’t realize that I REALLY didn’t want to ride him) and said I could stop, but I sucked it up and did the rest of the lesson on him. It was a huge improvement from last time (nothing really went wrong actually…) but I just don’t feel comfortable on him.

Anyway, so Wednesday I rode PUZZLE. I love that pony. He was majorly revved up but that was fine. Wendy said she’s still perplexed by the fact that the pony running off with me doesn’t bother me a bit, but Dash who didn’t really do anything TECHNICALLY wrong (we just have no communication as far as steering and whatnot) terrified me.

Saturday we drank a bit, and then last night we had a buncha people over and go drunk. It was a blast. I forgot how fun Katie was too! Marc’s fuckin’ adorable when he’s drunk. Hehe, and I got him a shirt from Express tonight and DAMN it looks good on him. Ah, I could go on and on about him. I’m just so contented. And for the life of me, I’m so glad we were apart for the last two years. It made me realize how great he is and how much he loves me (ok I’ve always known he did, just not how much), and it’s the best feeling ever to realize I love him like that too. I mean, Marc knows the worst things about me and its ok. Really. And its not like he’s never done anything wrong (and I don’t mean 4 years ago when we first dated - like, in the last 5 months), but even that was forgivable and made me realize I want to be with him through everything. Its been a lot of work (and lengthy 3am discussions bordering on arguments) getting to where we are now, but I’m so glad we both stuck through it. Ok, I’m just babbling. Haha, and trying not to brag about how damn good I’ve got it now.

( Read more... )

9:23am:

How to make a forwardxmotion

Ingredients: 5 parts friendliness 3 parts crazyiness 3 parts instinct

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little caring if desired!

12:03pm: "Throw I love you echoes down the canyon and then lie awake at night until they come back around."
( Now, this drifter's world goes 'round and 'round And I doubt it's ever gonna stop )

11:37am: "It's not always about what's right or wrong - sometimes it's about the way it has to be."
Damn i've been busy.

School, work, riding, social time, really cool country concert... i haven't had a long night's sleep in FOREVER. BUt on the upside i'm quite content :D

School is well school. I spent my spring break catching up on my online classes. teehee.

Work has been overall good. I took some time off this weekend to go to the country jam (THANKS FOR TAKIN' ME MARC!), and when i got back to work saturday night, i came up REALLY short on money for the night (basically i should have made at least $140 for the night, instead i went home with like $15... mind you, i brought in a $50 bank...). SO that sucked asss. So unforutnately instead of enjoying my sunday off like intended, i worked to make up the money (such is life, eh?). On the upside though, I made Jole really happy because i gave her sunday off, i found out that Mike (one of my managers) is an even nicer guy than i ever thought, and basically i dropped over $100 at some point that night so i guess someone ELSE had a great lucky night haha. Oh, and for a monday double yesterday i made a butt-load of money. And we've got another gay guy working... he was on the floor with dave tonight and it was hysterical. There was almost a cat fight haha.

Riding is goooood. Marc came out and watched my lesson on Puzzle last thursday. And Wendy was trying to sell some of her horses (a woman she knows from tampa was looking for lesson horses). She wanted to show off 3 of her horses and one of a friends, Lighting. I got put in charge of showing off Lighting. Although the woman didn't want him (he has a club foot - but even though he's never had a prob with it, she just didn't want him), i was contemplating how to bungee him to the top of my Cavalier and take him back to FGCU haha. Wendy said it would be fine so long as i left a check for $13,000. Psh. Lighting is a Domino baby and looks just like him. Dark dark chocolate/black pinto. 16.2 hands. Bold but not scary jumping, moves out beautifully, sensitive and well trained. I mean, DAAAMN. Too bad he's not Wendy's so i won't get a chance to ride him again :-/ Ah well it was an experience.

Marc got us tickets to the country jam last weekend. That was a BLAST. I totally cowgirled it... daisy duke shorts, halter top, pink cowgirl hat, and a big ole belt buckle on a belt with *gasp* my name on that back. hehehe. It was like a mini-fair with a bunch of country artists. It rocked. And i hung out with Melissa and found out she's really cool. OOOH and Buddy Jewell did a cover of "Please Come to Boston" and i just about died.

And Tara's coming back sometime today. Whoot. I missed her! She might be moving into my apartment before the end of the semester. She lives with an RA right now and apparently they're doing random room searches in RA apartments and that just sucks. BUt it would be fun to room with her for the rest of the year.

And yah, that's about it. Life is good. Mine is anyway. It seems like everyone around me is stuggling with some sort of drama that i just don't quite grasp and i feel kinda bad for that. I mean I feel for everyone because i remember how y'all have felt, but it's nice to have everything so calm and exciting at the same time, all worked out, and take it all in stride and enjoy it.

Ah, and now for a pre-riding lesson NAP.

12:13am: Goo Goo Dolls


A thousand other boys could never reach you
How could I have been the one
I saw the world spin beneath you
And scatter like ice from the spoon
That was your womb

Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
Or are you someone's prayer

You know the lies they always told you
And the love you never knew
What's the things they never showed you
That swallowed the light from the sun
Inside your room, yeah

Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
Always someone

And there's no time left for losin'
When you stand they fall, yeah

Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
I'll go on and I'll lead you home

All because I'm
Comin' down the years turn over
And angels fall without you there
And I'll go on and i'll lead you home and
All because I'm
All because I'm
And I'll become
What you became to me

12:45am: Live one day at a time emphasizing ethics rather than rules. -Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
i feel better now. and certainly more amused...

well lets just say that Imp (my "girl" bunny) ain't a girl. And i don't know for sure what sex Evo is, but s/he just got the shit humped out of her/him. Oy.

11:42pm: Wonder
People see me
I'm a challenge
to your balance
I'm over your heads
how I confound you
and astound you
to know I must be one of the wonders